Beware out there, because I’ve just run a few miles, lifted a few weights, showered, and secured yet another cup of coffee, in determination to make this one stellar fucking morning. Congratulations young Kristoffer, you have arrived. Welcome. It’s OK if it didn’t quite start off this way. I can’t be expected to wake up with rainbows blasting out of my ass. My friend Ed likes to think this is the case, and even if it does happen on occasion, it’s only because I’ve worked hard to figure out where the hell TRUE NORTH is before I go to bed.
Sometimes when I drive through the cities I visit (Chicago, Pittsburgh, Columbus, Cinci, Lousiville, etc) I look down the alleys and through the industrial wastelands and wonder if I’d be able to find my way home on foot. What if I somehow woke up in that alley and didn’t know where I was? Why do I think these things? Every morning is a similar scenario, in that I must determine my location relative to where I should be, or want to be, or need to be to plow through what I need to get through.
Like most people I prefer to hit the pillow at night when I’m ready/overdue for restful sleep. What if you got there a few minutes earlier, lay there in silence and just review all the amazing things that happened that day instead? Do you think it might set you up for a better morning the next day? Try hard to not think about what you have going on the next day in terms of lists. It will only make you wake up in a panic. On my craziest, busiest days, I try to think only of the completion of things, of laying in bed the following night in peaceful review. The doing or the how’s only inhibit the completion. It’s not like anything is ever really done anyway, you silly Christmas goose.
Today is one of those curious days before a long weekend, when most people are already either physically or mentally checked-out, making shopping lists, etc. There’s always plenty to do, but I feel like should make some effort today to orient myself toward gratitude. Our little Frankie turned 1 yesterday, Elliott is a reading machine, we have a low key day tomorrow with my parents coming over, and our house is full of just about every thing we need to have a good time. I could say, “but there’s no front walk! There’s no garage! Our grass in the front is jacked!” I could also acknowledge the literally thousands of tiny manifestations that are all around us, reminding me that life is infinitely better than it was a year ago.
So many jobs lost, foreclosures, new illnesses, deaths, tragedies, and challenges in 2009. So so so so much more to be grateful for. You’re still up right, which means there’s a purpose for you in the sifting through these shiny coins and razor blades. You can point to the unthinkable, the terribly awful or sad. You can also focus just beyond it toward its true meaning: somewhere in there is the lesson, the appreciation, the calling you forward. You may not think so, but you’re actually more beautiful with these scars, and we’re far from complete. I won’t get caught up in worrying about what comes next at the expense of connecting with you here and now.
I’ll be easy to shop for this year. If you see me out and about, anywhere… Just give a brother a hug. Everything else is taken care of. Trust me.
Effervescently and spiritually pre-pubescently,
me kc fer inc
