OVERCOMING HEALTH SCARES

Nothing like resolving a 5-week health scare to recharge the old batteries. I went for a physical in mid-January, only to learn from a lab test that I had high protein & keytones in my urine, and my bilirubins were all out of whack. You likely know that I’ve never felt healthier at this point in my life, both physically and emotionally. So, this information was a bit surprising. I didn’t realize until yesterday that it had been slowly fucking with me. Ah, the perfect tradgedy: He was really appreciating everything in his life, specifically his family and career, and then he gets hit with 58% kidney function, or 42% kidney failure. Why does Hollywood like that kind of bullshit? Hahaha.

Interesting few weeks. It took a lot of energy to stay out of the worry game, especially when the doctor’s office has been completely inept as far as their communication and the status of my specialist referral. The lesson for me in here has something to do with unwavering trust and faith in my own physical machine, which would have let me know that something was off prior to some lab test.

I didn’t realize until yesterday morning that the potential for something being wrong had been pulling me off the path. I’ve had a seriously ridiculous number of things on my plate lately, which is neither a complaint nor a boast. It has been exciting. But once the people around you start talking about the news, and asking you for updates on the news, or expressing things like worry or “concern”, it starts creeping in to the bubble. God bless them though for being in my life and caring more than I do!!! My usual juggling jester act has been a little tougher lately. Things have felt harder, people a little tougher, my neck a little tighter, and my energy level a little off. I needed to resolve these kidney questions asap, and the soonest they could get me in was yesterday.

So it turned out that upon the site of me, the Dr. said my physiology wasn’t consistent with my chart. Something had to be off with the lab work, which as it turned out was exactly the case. My pee tested perfectly healthy yesterday. Part of the bunk lab work was my own fault for being such a spaz. I fasted the night before as instructed, but I still ran 2 or 3 miles prior to getting blood drawn and whizzing in the cup. Hence, the protein and keytones. More importantly, the 58% kidney function readings were from the ranges of my levels of other shit they measure. The lab tech tagged me as a female in the system, which made all of my healthy readings (90% kidney function) look way out of whack.

So I’m working on releasing a lot of resistance and anger I have for the medical profession. Don’t test me, fools. But seriously, and sincerely: Thank you for testing me. Thank you for reminding me that so many people close to me care about my health. Thank you for reaffirming my trust in my health, and in my overall pursuit of well-being. It’s been an incredible 5 weeks despite this information.

Gayle and I were telling Ed about these Nada Surf lyrics off of their incredible album “The Weight Is A Gift”:

Maybe this weight is a gift
Like I had to see what I could lift

And so I headed to the doctor with Gayle yesterday to either find out some really good news, or potentially really challenging news. I prepared with some deep meditation, and emotional freedom therapy… tapping every meridian point in my body and calming myself the hell down: “I request and expect the most benevolent outcome. I request and expect the most benevolent outcome.”

If you’re ever going to try talking to yourself, my recommendation is to repeat it enough times to convince yourself that it is 100% gospel TRUTH. I request and expect the most benevolent outcome.

My health is perfectly fine. Sales were closed yesterday, one of my biggest campaigns is running today, I took Ellie to school on my bike in gorgeous weather. I’m planning both a 3-day session in Philly recording Hamell’s new album, as well as our vacation to Jamaica. These are neither boasts nor complaints.